Rather Suspect

Over the years my perspective on ambition has changed dramatically. When I was very young, I saw ambition not just as positive but central to a good life. To live is to achieve, to achieve is to live. My simple view was that there was a giant ledger of accomplishments somewhere and the goal was to put something significant into that ledger: a scientific discovery, a work of art, a breakthrough novel, a thriving business.

My heroes were always those who had done something significant, whether a Greek philosopher from millennia ago or an inventor who had just created something new.

But over time — years, decades — I began to question the cult of ambition. If we don’t know why any of us are here, and we don’t have a clear understanding of life’s purpose, why should it be that “achieving” anything is somehow a positive? One person exists and invents the radio, another writes a novel, and a third simply walks through life and appreciates it — which life is the most valuable?

That said, it feels strange to envision a life with no achievement. But is that simply a cultural value I’ve inherited — encouraged, no doubt, by our caplitalistic economic system? If you exist, you must “create value” somewhere, for someone — else, how can we decide what to pay you?

But rather than simply punt today with the statement “ambition is suspect,” I would like to offer an alternative. That is, rather than focus on “achieving,” perhaps there might be value in setting a goal as “healing.”

Obviously there is a degree of hubris in that statement as well — does “healing” imply that (a) something is somehow unwell and (b) we can make the distinction between what is unwell and what is well?

Maybe — it is possible I’m simply (erroneously) trying to recast ambition in a nicer light. But it does seem to be true that as humans we are wired to recognize suffering, and that there would appear to be an abundance of it. And — more hubris here — perhaps if we were to orient not around “creating” but “healing” — we might find some degree of peace at both an individual and collective level.

This might be too simplistic but to me healing generally implies “gentle nudges” to help things go where they mean to go in the first place, rather than grand, sweeping gestures. A forest on the edge of a lake can likely do just fine by itself, but should a fire break out it’s possible that afterwards clearing a bit of brush and some fallen trees might allow for the forest to rebound. Perhaps not, but it might be preferable to clearing the forest and building a resort.

But does this remove our ability to do those “big” things like discover relativity or invent the iPhone? Perhaps. Or — perhaps — if we asked each time we set out on something new what we are healing by doing so, we might be less likely to embark on clear acts of folly (launching wars, designing weapons, destroying the planet for trivial financial gains) and at least orient our ambition in a more positive direction.

Ambition can still exist, but not as a first-order goal. Instead, it is a tool, in service to something higher. Ambition in service to healing.